Random Thoughts

That last one really made me sound self centered. Ug. So tomorrow is my sons second day at school and suddenly this scary new world I was in feels so familiar, like he's been going to school for years.
I like to think that if I was on that Wipe Out show I would kick some major butt. But then again those balls..... no one seems to get it right.
If all anyone ever needed to live was diet coke and chocolate I'd be in heaven.
Totally pointless blog.

Having at it

So I've noticed that no one has left feed back and that could be for a number of reasons. Mainly I like to think that its because no one's read my blog. And thats cool becuase honestly I'm kind of scared of what someone would say if they read my blog. So that being said I'm going to complain. In all five years of marriage I've never, not once gone crazy and took myself on a shopping spree. There have been points where we just didnt have the money to do it so I never did and didnt complain. Then there were times when we did have the money but I always felt like if I had then I'd be taking away from my kids, who have always had pretty much everything they've ever needed and then some. So my shopping always turned out to be from clearance racks and never more than two items at a time, and if I had bought something with out telling my husband I was going to, I'd come home and hide it and try to feel him out. We're in a time where we dont have the money but I am just dying to buy something, and not just one thing but a lot. I had a baby two months ago and I'm still wearing maternity pants praying no one will notice. I know people have. It kills because all I can do is wait till maybe late October, early November before I will get that chance. I have a new job but by the time I get my first pay check and then take care of things that HAVE to be taken care of, it will be late October or early November when I can throw my name into the hat. UH

Almost there

UHHHH I'm almost done with my externship which means I will be officially done with school! Just 13 more hours left to work and I am done! I've already got a job lined up and its in the field I want to be in and affiliated with the hospital I want to be affiliated with. SWEET! Not much has gone the way I wanted or planned this past year but this, this has. I know that stupid old saying be careful what you wish for, yea it sits in the back of my mind. I've got faith that I was sent here for a reason and hopefully that reason isn't to prove that my plans arent always whats best. I could see that happening but I'm just praying it isnt.
And why is that? For me most of my life when something does go the way I planned or wanted it proves to be this huge ordeal or headache. Why cant life just sometimes thow you a bone and let things happen without the karma coming back to bite you or that all seeing negativity that seems to pop up at the end of a great vacation. I cant wait.

Why not me

I recently saw a movie that albeit intresting in historical facts started off with the main character surounded by naked women. I was shocked and disapointed in the movie. And my husband said to me, "That's one movie we cant recommend to your mom and dad." And at first I agreed with him but later that night it hit me, that he thought Mom and Dad would be offended but he didnt think I would be offended. And this is no fault of his, it's my own. It was a said where I was placing my values, where I was and wasnt standing for what was right and in my own home no less. I wasnt comfortable with what was on the screen but I didnt say anything. Hm.

Its not them, its us

I'm finding that kids are amazing. You can be so upset with them one night and the next morning they wake up with a clear set of emotions. They dont hold anything against you. It's us, the parents who screw things over. We are the ones who hold on to the tension, memories, and pure frustration. It's the kids who wake up forgetting that they refused to eat dinner last night and cried in their chair for what felt like an eternity and thus spent the world into a down ward spiral that leaves the parents crying for sleep.
I noticed this the other day like lightening striking and I felt really lame for not having noticed it sooner. So me I'm trying to be better by realizing that I've been the moron for holding last nights anger on into the morning. The "it's a new day" phrases never really meant much because they were so cliche I didnt care to notice the meaning. But there we go, I've finally thought deep about a cliche.

It's awesome viewing

Every time the Olympics air I'm always amazed at how sucked in I get to the sports and suddenly for those two weeks I'm like the expert in womens gymnastics, and mens swimming and all that. I dunno what it is, maybe becuase it's all that anyone else talks about so I have to be up to date on it all. That's including who Micheal Phelps was seen swapping spit with.
It's also the only time I wish I was freaking awesome at something like soccor or bad mitten so I could compete on a level like that. And I like to think that I'm not the only adult who thinks that.
If I could compete in any sport I think (summer games speaking) it would have to be gymnastics. Too bad I'm not 13 pretending to be 16.

New to School

So I find myself at that strange stage of parenthood where my oldest is headed off to school. No not college but Pre-k. I am so nervouse for him. Did I teach him everything?
Will he be the wierd kid? Will he be shy? Will he be willing to learn? Will he make friends???? Uhh I hope so. I want him to experience it all, including the heart breaks. No not the heart breaks.
Did I do it right? How do you know if you did?